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This young man is already on the waiting list for the finest Universities in the country: Harvard, Yale, Hogwarts, the list goes on and on.
This young man is already on the waiting list for the finest Universities in the country: Harvard, Yale, Hogwarts, the list goes on and on.
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Forgot to eat breakfast, someone brought doughnuts!
Forgot to eat breakfast, someone brought doughnuts!
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Didn’t do homework, class got cancled!
Didn’t do homework, class got cancled!
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Walks up multiple flights of stairs on campus, directly behind hot girl in yoga pants!
Walks up multiple flights of stairs on campus, directly behind hot girl in yoga pants!
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Shampoo and conditioner ran out, at the same time!
Shampoo and conditioner ran out, at the same time!
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History exam about renaissance Italy, knew all the answers from playing Assassins Creed.
History exam about renaissance Italy, knew all the answers from playing Assassins Creed.
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Cash in coins I’ve been saving for a year, $510.17!
Cash in coins I’ve been saving for a year, $510.17!
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Pulls headphones out of pocket, untangled!
Pulls headphones out of pocket, untangled!
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Throws ball of paper into trash can across room, someone else sees it happen!
Throws ball of paper into trash can across room, someone else sees it happen!
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About to flake out on a friend, friend flakes out on you first!
About to flake out on a friend, friend flakes out on you first!
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Found coins at bottom of backpack, quarters!
Found coins at bottom of backpack, quarters!
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Let my parents use my car, they fill up my tank!
Let my parents use my car, they fill up my tank!
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Walked into the locker room at the gym, didn’t see any old man dick!
Walked into the locker room at the gym, didn’t see any old man dick!
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Eats a bowl of captain crunch, top of my mouth is fine!
Eats a bowl of captain crunch, top of my mouth is fine!
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Opens fun size starburst, finds two pink!
Opens fun size starburst, finds two pink!
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Did laundry this week, all socks accounted for!
Did laundry this week, all socks accounted for!
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Got drunk last night, woke up in time for McDonald’s breakfast!
Got drunk last night, woke up in time for McDonald’s breakfast!
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Wake up from a great dream, fall asleep and go back to the same dream!
Wake up from a great dream, fall asleep and go back to the same dream!
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Took a shit before I took a shower!
Took a shit before I took a shower!
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Guessed A on half the questions, got an A!
Guessed A on half the questions, got an A!
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Watched movie with parents at home, no awkward sex scene!
Watched movie with parents at home, no awkward sex scene!
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Song ends, right as destination is reached!
Song ends, right as destination is reached!
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Checks phone, get text as soon as I look at phone!
Checks phone, get text as soon as I look at phone!
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Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory is on, 1971 version!
Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory is on, 1971 version!
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Three hour flight in middle seat, hot girls on both sides!
Three hour flight in middle seat, hot girls on both sides!
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High school reunion, girl who rejected you got fat!
High school reunion, girl who rejected you got fat!
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First time writing the date in 2012, remembered to write 2012!
First time writing the date in 2012, remembered to write 2012!
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Forgot to turn off my cell phone in a flight, plane didn’t crash!
Forgot to turn off my cell phone in a flight, plane didn’t crash!
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Put on old jeans, found money in the pocket!
Put on old jeans, found money in the pocket!
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Peed in my dream, didn’t pee in real life!
Peed in my dream, didn’t pee in real life!
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Write 5 page essay and power goes out, auto saved 10 seconds before!
Write 5 page essay and power goes out, auto saved 10 seconds before!
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Saw school bully, working in McDonalds!
Saw school bully, working in McDonalds!
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Guy who cut me off at yellow yet, got pulled over by cop on next block!
Guy who cut me off at yellow yet, got pulled over by cop on next block!
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Make witty comment on friend’s status, someone I don’t know liked it!
Make witty comment on friend’s status, someone I don’t know liked it!
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Made a bag of microwave popcorn, every kernel popped!
Made a bag of microwave popcorn, every kernel popped!
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Set alarm for 8AM, wake up naturally at 7:59!
Set alarm for 8AM, wake up naturally at 7:59!
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My turn to empty dryer, towels!
My turn to empty dryer, towels!
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Notice there is no toilet paper, before you start pooping!
Notice there is no toilet paper, before you start pooping!
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Withdraw $60 for a night of drinking, wake up with $65!
Withdraw $60 for a night of drinking, wake up with $65!
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Asked girlfriend where she wanted to eat, she gave a decisive answer!
Asked girlfriend where she wanted to eat, she gave a decisive answer!
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Show up late to work, first one there!
Show up late to work, first one there!
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Have to wear a tie, perfect length on first try!
Have to wear a tie, perfect length on first try!
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Woke up after night of drinking, didn’t lose phone, wallet, iPod, keys, or pride!
Woke up after night of drinking, didn’t lose phone, wallet, iPod, keys, or pride!
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Boss walks by, when I’m actually working!
Boss walks by, when I’m actually working!
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Went to Burger King, got a crown!
Went to Burger King, got a crown!
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Left arm is full, keys in right pocket.
Left arm is full, keys in right pocket.
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Tell cute girl my first name, she friend requests me on Facebook!
Tell cute girl my first name, she friend requests me on Facebook!
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Teacher calls on someone else when I have my hand raised, turns out I had the wrong answer anyway!
Teacher calls on someone else when I have my hand raised, turns out I had the wrong answer anyway!
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Sits down at a machine at the gym, last person was weaker than me!
Sits down at a machine at the gym, last person was weaker than me!
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Buy soda from vending machine, two come out!
Buy soda from vending machine, two come out!